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Friends can make all the difference when you're ill. You don't need lots of them to feel supported - just one really good friend can help you feel less alone. Having M.E. can force you into being quite creative about your friendships!
So how and when do you tell your friends about your illness and how it affects you?
There is no right or wrong way to go about this. Just do what you feel comfortable with. It's best to be honest with people close to you. Not telling close friends can cause all sorts of problems and rifts.
If you have been ill for a short time or just been diagnosed, the chances are that people at school, college or work will want to know what has happened to you. It may be easier and less exhausting to ask someone close to explain things for you.
If you have been ill for some time, you will already know how tricky it can be with friends and are bound to know what makes a good or bad friend! You may have been surprised, or shocked even by who has stuck by you the most.
You may have made new friends who also have M.E. This can be helpful as they know what it feels like. You may also be used to asking others, like your mum, dad, brother or sister, to help you keep in touch with your friends. It may be that they have now taken the place of the friends you had before you got ill.
Friends don't have to be human. Your cat or your hamster can help you to feel less alone. They can be great to talk to and they don't answer back!
If you are now getting better, you may be thinking about how to get back into 'normal life'. Think what you feel comfortable with. There is no need at all to tell people as soon as you meet them. Take your time.
So what do you do when you meet new friends and they ask you why you haven't been at school, college or work?
Just tell them the simple facts about what has happened to you. You may wish to email them a link to this site or give a copy of 'M.E. in a nutshell'. Keep it simple and take things step by step. It can be helpful to let those closest to you know that you may need to take it a bit easy sometimes.
Ill health does change things, so if you're at the 'getting better' stage, you will need to be aware that things around you will have moved on. Try and see this as a good thing and a chance to meet new people. Don't panic if you find your old friends are getting on with their own lives and you aren't keeping up. Remember that the only friends worth having are those that stick with you through the bad times and not just the good.
Also see Telling others in You and M.E. for info on who else to tell about your M.E. and how to tell them.
