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Relapses |
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Donna, 20
"Budgeting your energy"
"I feel that overdoing things led to my relapses. I have had a few 'little relapses' but four major ones. Having a cold or bug can trigger a relapse for me. Just recently, I developed a cold and it took me back to my bed for a good couple of weeks. I find it very hard to listen to my body. So I keep doing bits and pieces without thinking to stop when I feel tired.
At the beginning of my illness I went to a concert. I felt I needed to get out of the four walls for a bit. But it made me ill for quite some time. Last year I had another relapse caused by my grandma's death. I was so close to her, it hit me very hard. A relapse the year before was caused by visiting my grandma in hospital. She was very ill with cancer and I tried to visit her everyday. The visits were very exhausting but it didn't matter to me, it was just my grandma I was concerned about. She left the hospital and went into a nursing home. As with many elderly people my grandma took it bad. She got upset about leaving her home and not being able to do the things she used to. When everything settled down I relapsed - I think all the visiting in the months she was in hospital and seeing her upset was too much to handle.
A relapse makes me feel very lifeless. Although my symptoms are quite bad, during a relapse they are even worse. I am sent to bed for weeks. The tiredness is so bad that sometimes I can't even open my eyes. The pain and aching in my joints and muscles is so intense it seems unbearable. No words can describe what you go through when you are in a relapse - it is a horrible experience. And it can last a very long time.
The relapse affects you emotionally too. I was crying all the time and felt very angry with myself for not listening to my body. I felt that all the hard work I had put into looking after my body was a waste as I was at the beginning again. I do find my depression is really bad at that stage. You feel that you can't go on like this. But after the worst is over you feel like you can continue the battle. And I have learnt such a lot from relapses - I don't think I have failed in anyway.
My tips for other people going through a relapse is rest as much as you can. I know that during some of my relapses I pushed myself even further. It doesn't help - it just makes you even worse. On some occasions I just crawled around the house doing things. I just didn't want to give up. Your body has gone through a lot so it needs rest. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel eventually! Most importantly, try to avoid doing more than your body can handle. I find it helpful to keep a diary as this allows you to look at relapse triggers. In time, budgeting your energy to help prevent relapses will become easier."
Rosie, 18
"Try to stay positive because you will get better"
"My relapse was because of overdoing it in mainstream schooling. I felt exhausted, physically sick and had bad headaches. I became withdrawn because my friends stopped visiting. I wasn’t interested in trying to do anything. If you have a relapse, don’t lose touch with any friends you’ve made. Try to stay positive because you will get better."
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